Tuesday, June 20, 2006

How Much Do 0870 Numbers Cost Again?

On the O2 Sales Helpline, presumably you subsidise the subsidy on the phone you're about to buy in 0870 call charges whilst you wait to buy it. Their verbosity is clearly an example of Marketing Bullshit Gone Mad:

"When you see things differently, you can do anything. Speak openly and honestly with the O2 sales team and remember that your call may be monitored.

Listen carefully and press a number after you've listened to all 3 options.

Do you fancy o2's text appeal? Is it the ultimate customer experience you're looking for, and a new beginning? Join O2s innovative service by pressing option 1 now.

Existing customers: for dedicated customer services, press 2 now.

Thanking all O2 customers. Your reward for being loyal is a new phone. Sound good? Press 3.

In a crowded world, we create space. O2. See what you can do."

Well what you can do is listen at least twice in disbelief to work out that the handset purchase option is 1 ("to buy a phone, press 1" conceivably would have been clearer?), then wait ten minutes in a queue on a silent line (muzak presumably shaves valuable fractions of pence from the revenue generated keeping the caller waiting).

Then in the end it transpired that every O2 customer has a PAYG handset limit (I think it's roughly three handsets), and no I couldn't have another. The web site could probably have told me this but it preferred "Sorry we can't take your order at this time", which is a little ambiguous.

Their marketing dept seem to take a number of substances to help them see differently, but I think they should really consider stopping now before they cause permenant damage.